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| Today |
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| February 2012 |
There is no words in Webster’s dictionary that would allow me to express my gratitude for so much and for so many over the past year. This blog is going to go down to the core of my being, and reach deep into my soul to express to you all just how grateful I am. I’ve said in a previous blog that it is my belief that gratitude is the key to real, genuine happiness on our journey here on earth. It turns out my theory must be accurate.
When I look back on when my new life began, talking to my big sister, Kayla and my Aunt Heather about coming out and expressing to them my fear of how I was going to be judged, how I was afraid to find love again and afraid that I would hate my new life worse than my old one, I can’t imagine there being two greater people at that moment to convince me that I was worth it. It was those moments of their reassurance that I look back on as pivotal moments that changed my path in life and has led me on this new journey.
Thank you so very much to you big sis and to you Aunt Heather. You both have helped me in so many ways over the last year, in ways that I don’t think either of you comprehend. There will never be anything I could do to repay what has been given, for you both have saved my life.
Then my family accepted me with open arms. I learned that at the end of the day, the ones that really truly loved me and respected me were the ones in whom I could depend. I feel overwhelmed with joy because of the acceptance I have experienced within my family and the community. It is all of you that continue to give me the strength and encouragement I need to move forward every day.
I have been told by a few doctors that Cystic Fibrosis is one of the worst diseases out there because it affects your whole being. Your mind, your body even the core of who you are as a person is affected by this terrible disease. And I am not going to lie to you, this road has been rough at times and I have even written myself off a few times because I was so down and out. However, the love that I experience everyday via text message, e-mail or Facebook, has helped me so much on my journey and has helped me arrive at the beautiful place in which my life rests at this very moment. In March when I was in the hospital fighting for my life, there was a fundraiser started on Facebook to help me purchase a laptop, the very laptop in which I am using right now that allows me to share my thoughts and feelings with you all. I was stunned, in only two days we raised one thousand dollars. It may have been a material ‘thing’, but it has opened a door to the world for me to be able to express the constant emotional ups and downs that come with my illness. It was such a touching act of support for me, and every time I get on my laptop I cannot help but think of the love that is reflected in my bright orange computer!
When I received the news yesterday that the bug that has been growing in my lungs that has been trying to destroy me has now vanished from my body, I was absolutely stunned. Perry laughed at me because I was just staring into space for the longest time trying to digest just what the doctor was saying to me. All my fears and anxieties over what was going to unfold as my treatments continued suddenly vanished and I could not believe that I, Jamie Chafe, had overcome yet another detrimental trial in my life. It filled me with so much joy that I burst into tears. Perry and I spent last evening celebrating the news and pondering over just how precious life is and can be.
Perry has been the absolute rock to me in all of this. From the moment he met me back in February in the hospital, he has been nothing but committed to helping me overcome anything my life choses to throw my way. That man has made me feel more love than I am willing to bet people feel in a lifetime. Every day he does something that reassures me that I am on the right track and that I am meant to be where I am – in his arms. He doesn’t look at me as a diseased person, but rather someone with obstacles, like everyone else. Perry has added what was missing in my life for so long, real genuine love. The kind of love I only thought existed in fairytales. Well, this is my fairytale and I am loving every minute of it.
Perry, I truly believe in my heart and soul that your love and support is the very reason why I was able to beat this infection. You have given me a reason to be excited about life and a reason to be excited for each new day I am given. I was never a believer in the whole ‘soul mate’ thing, but I am a believer now. I Love You Perry with every beat in my heart. And I can’t wait to see where our next chapter brings us.
I know that I have mentioned religion here a few times, and I personally don’t know what I believe in anymore when it comes to a religious stand point, but I do believe in God. And I cannot complete this blog without thanking him for his continued source of strength I receive through prayer and his constant guidance I feel when making decisions.
The road ahead is not going to be easy. CF is a progressive disease, which means that I am still going to need my transplant. But the fact that it now doesn’t need to consume my mind and body is amazing and I can continue to make goals for myself to achieve. And, I am still going to need the support from all of you! Fundraising is soon going to start to help raise money for my transplant and I cannot express to you my gratitude I feel already in knowing that I WILL raise the money I need, and it’s with all your help. I have never been one who likes asking people for money, but someone said something to me a while back and I cannot get it out of my mind. They said, “How else do we allow other human beings to express compassion, if we do not ask for help?” And that’s the way I am looking at it. Because all the money in the world can put a price on a life, but the fact that a second chance is open to me is amazing. I will keep you all updated on fundraising efforts when they begin.
I could spend all day here thanking individuals for their love and encouragement. I hope you know who you are and that my gratitude is unable to be expressed in any blog I could ever right. For now, just know that there is a young man in Clarenville Newfoundland, who is so grateful for your love. Who is reminded every day that I am loved for who I am and that no road in this world, will I need to travel alone. I always end my blog with a quote, but I think it’s appropriate for this blog to just finish by saying;
“Thank-You”
Jamie Leigh Francis
xo
