A tribute to my best friend, Deborah Maria Hawksley
Have you ever been blessed enough to have that one friend, that one person with whom you can count on no matter what, through the good and the bad and they have always been there?
Have you ever had that one friend who understands you when no one else in the world does?
I met Deborah in Junior High School. For whatever reason I picked her out of the crowd and knew I had to get to know this amazing young woman. Her smile could melt the toughest heart and her laugh would do the same. Though she was shy and timid, totally opposite as me, I knew in my gut that would hit it off and be great friends. And she really didn’t have much of a choice because I stalked her for the longest while until she had no choice but to be my friend! D, was one of ‘the girls’. There was a whole posy of them that I eventually had to befriend or else a friendship with Deborah would have been pointless. After all, I did have a penis and I could not easily fill the role of ‘girlfriend’ when it came to talking about periods, boys and the latest and greatest fashions. I left that job up to Ashley and Amy, and later Rebecca.
For some reason my having CF never bothered Deborah and the girls. In fact whenever I ended up in hospital it was always Deborah who initiated getting something together for me. I still have a huge teddy bear and a card from grade 9 that they all surprised me with. But for some reason, whenever I was having a bad day in school, D was the only one who really ‘got it’. I think it was because of her huge heart and compassion for others that enabled her to put herself in other people’s shoes. No surprise that she is now finishing her Master’s Degree to become a Music Therapist – helping others!
Whenever I needed a friend, she was there. She knew all along I was ‘different’ but didn’t pressure me at all to come out in school. In fact we never even discussed it until last year, when she told me that she wasn’t surprised. Deborah was the type of girl in school you always imagined marrying. Beautiful too, though she never ever gave the impression that she knew it. Didn’t flaunt it like the other high school bitches that I would want to slap in the face at times.
Deep down to this day I don’t think she knows just how beautiful a human being she is. It’s funny because the night before I left for Gander to pursue a life with Alicia, I begged Deborah to kiss me. I needed to know if there was anything there. But it quickly became awkward and the kiss didn’t happen. I wonder sometimes if I had played my cards right, would I have married that girl. But then again, where would that have gotten her? Lol
Today, Deborah and I share the most beautiful relationship there is to be had. We don’t talk every day and we may go months in fact without talking, but somehow when we finally connect it feels like we had spoken 20 minutes ago. Our relationship is care free and requires little work which I kind of think relationships should be. Don’t get me wrong, we do work at it, making time to see each other whenever we can, her being in Ontario and me being home here on the rock. But we always are there for each other whenever the call is needed. She is the picture perfect image of what a best friend should be. She will and always will be whom I consider my best friend!
Have you ever been blessed enough to have that one friend, that one person with whom you can count on no matter what, through the good and the bad and they have always been there?
Have you ever had that one friend who understands you when no one else in the world does?
I met Deborah in Junior High School. For whatever reason I picked her out of the crowd and knew I had to get to know this amazing young woman. Her smile could melt the toughest heart and her laugh would do the same. Though she was shy and timid, totally opposite as me, I knew in my gut that would hit it off and be great friends. And she really didn’t have much of a choice because I stalked her for the longest while until she had no choice but to be my friend! D, was one of ‘the girls’. There was a whole posy of them that I eventually had to befriend or else a friendship with Deborah would have been pointless. After all, I did have a penis and I could not easily fill the role of ‘girlfriend’ when it came to talking about periods, boys and the latest and greatest fashions. I left that job up to Ashley and Amy, and later Rebecca.
For some reason my having CF never bothered Deborah and the girls. In fact whenever I ended up in hospital it was always Deborah who initiated getting something together for me. I still have a huge teddy bear and a card from grade 9 that they all surprised me with. But for some reason, whenever I was having a bad day in school, D was the only one who really ‘got it’. I think it was because of her huge heart and compassion for others that enabled her to put herself in other people’s shoes. No surprise that she is now finishing her Master’s Degree to become a Music Therapist – helping others!
Whenever I needed a friend, she was there. She knew all along I was ‘different’ but didn’t pressure me at all to come out in school. In fact we never even discussed it until last year, when she told me that she wasn’t surprised. Deborah was the type of girl in school you always imagined marrying. Beautiful too, though she never ever gave the impression that she knew it. Didn’t flaunt it like the other high school bitches that I would want to slap in the face at times.
Deep down to this day I don’t think she knows just how beautiful a human being she is. It’s funny because the night before I left for Gander to pursue a life with Alicia, I begged Deborah to kiss me. I needed to know if there was anything there. But it quickly became awkward and the kiss didn’t happen. I wonder sometimes if I had played my cards right, would I have married that girl. But then again, where would that have gotten her? Lol
Today, Deborah and I share the most beautiful relationship there is to be had. We don’t talk every day and we may go months in fact without talking, but somehow when we finally connect it feels like we had spoken 20 minutes ago. Our relationship is care free and requires little work which I kind of think relationships should be. Don’t get me wrong, we do work at it, making time to see each other whenever we can, her being in Ontario and me being home here on the rock. But we always are there for each other whenever the call is needed. She is the picture perfect image of what a best friend should be. She will and always will be whom I consider my best friend!
Dear Deborah,
As you celebrate your 25th birthday today, I hope you truly comprehend just how much of an impact you have had on my life. I don’t mean to get morbid but when I tried to end my life last year, you were one of the people that came to mind to live for.
I love our beautiful friendship. You mean so much to me Deborah and I want the world to know that I would not be the man I am today had it not been for the love from a great friend like you. You never judged me. You were always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, even if it was over Facebook chat!
As I reflect over the past 10 years of friendship, I can’t help but thank God for the blessing you have been in my life.
We have shared some good times and not too many bad times. But one thing is for sure, you have been one of my rocks through all the messy bits that have been my life. And for that I will always be grateful D!
As I look forward to the future when I someday will need a lung transplant, I hope I am only so lucky to have you by my side. And I promise you that if I ever get married again, 99.9% chance I will, you will be in my bridal party where you should have been the first time!
I hope this day is a fraction as beautiful as you are! You deserve all the great things that are happening to you in your life! (And I pray Steve is treating you like the princess you are!) You shouldn’t settle for anything less!
I cannot express in words enough here on this page to tell you just how much you mean to me, so I’ll finish with this…..
I Love You Deborah! Always and Forever!
J
XO
“When we first talked to each otherAs you celebrate your 25th birthday today, I hope you truly comprehend just how much of an impact you have had on my life. I don’t mean to get morbid but when I tried to end my life last year, you were one of the people that came to mind to live for.
I love our beautiful friendship. You mean so much to me Deborah and I want the world to know that I would not be the man I am today had it not been for the love from a great friend like you. You never judged me. You were always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, even if it was over Facebook chat!
As I reflect over the past 10 years of friendship, I can’t help but thank God for the blessing you have been in my life.
We have shared some good times and not too many bad times. But one thing is for sure, you have been one of my rocks through all the messy bits that have been my life. And for that I will always be grateful D!
As I look forward to the future when I someday will need a lung transplant, I hope I am only so lucky to have you by my side. And I promise you that if I ever get married again, 99.9% chance I will, you will be in my bridal party where you should have been the first time!
I hope this day is a fraction as beautiful as you are! You deserve all the great things that are happening to you in your life! (And I pray Steve is treating you like the princess you are!) You shouldn’t settle for anything less!
I cannot express in words enough here on this page to tell you just how much you mean to me, so I’ll finish with this…..
I Love You Deborah! Always and Forever!
J
I knew we would always be friends.
Our friendship has kept on growing
And I'll be here for you to the end.
You listen when I have a problem
And help dry the tears from my face.
You take away my sorrow
And put happiness in its place.
We can't forget the fun we've had
Laughing 'til our faces turn blue.
Talking of things only we find funny
People think we're insane-If they only knew!
I guess this is my way of saying thanks
For catching me when I fall.
Thanks once again for being such a good friend
And being here with my through it all.
~ Rachel Ellis
