The Power
in Forgiveness
As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I blamed “God” for most of all my problems when I was a child. I blamed my mother for not raising me the way I would have raised myself and I especially blamed my father for all the beatings I got when I was a kid. I even blamed the doctor’s that treated me and tried to help me as a kid for being so sick all the time. Then I found a power, the power of forgiveness.
Holding grudges and conflicts in our heart consumes a lot of energy and when you really stop and think about it, we are really only hurting ourselves by holding onto these resentments. I always walked around somewhat unhappy when I was a kid because I just couldn’t understand why I was blessed with such an imperfect life. I would often pray and ask God, what is he trying to prove? I got the answer later in life, and I’ll share that in a bit.
My mother was a smoker. She has been smoking since she was 8 years old. Her mother used to give her cigarette’s in reward for rolling hers. That’s great parenting! NOT! So it was something that I had to accept as I got older. A lot of people, including doctors and close friends would often question why I had a mother who smoked around me even though I had a lung disease.
During my late teens I gave my mom a really hard time about her smoking. I would often get on her case about the habit and it just seemed to make matters worse. We would end up in arguments that just led to more arguments. No solution was ever found and my mother still smokes today. But as I reached adulthood, I discovered something that changed me as a person, forgiveness. I held on to such negative feelings towards her for so many years that I just got tired of being upset and disappointed with her all the time. And I couldn’t very well go back in time and stop the addiction when it started. So, I forgave her. I stopped hounding her about smoking and I came to the conclusion that it was her choice to smoke, not mine and that she was never properly educated on how her smoking affected my CF. It set me free, because it was always a grudge I held towards her. Now don’t get me wrong, at times when she still smokes in the house today I get pretty upset and it does hurt me, but forgiveness releases my tension to the universe and I am brought to a pace where I accept the fact that she has an addiction.
Speaking of addictions, my father is an alcoholic. As I mentioned in previous blogs, I experienced some pretty intense beatings at the hand of my father and at times I questioned if he even was my father, because how could a Dad do something so violent and hurtful. But then again, I found something. Can you guess? Forgiveness.
I spent so much of my life being mad at him and that just used up so much of my energy that I so desperately needed to maintain my health. Through a few Al-anon meetings and a couple of self-help books, I discovered that my father and the disease were two separate things. Therefore I was able to conclude that though there was no excuse for what he did, he was sick. I am sick. And I often ask people to show compassion and understand to me and my illness; therefore I should show the same kindness to my father. I can honestly say that I hold no resentment towards him at all. That’s the power forgiveness gives you. Now I am not saying that I am willing to accept unacceptable behavior, but I have moved past the hurt to a place of peace and love. It was very hard letting go of all the hurt and anger, but the reward was awesome!
When I became a Jehovah’s Witness, I was overwhelmed by the support I received from them. They were a great bunch of people. But soon into studying the bible with them, I learned that if I was ever to turn away, or not practice what they believed anymore, I would be shunned and expelled from the congregation. I could never understand this because the God I truly could feel in my heart accepts everyone and does not shun people for their mistakes. So, it was really hard when I left because a lot of people, who “claimed” to love me unconditionally, overnight became my enemies. I was so angry! I couldn’t believe that I waisted 7 years of my precious life with people who couldn’t love me for who I truly was! Not to get all biblical, but then I remembered a scripture that I learned and again it set me free. “He who does not forgive, shall not receive forgiveness”
I forgave them. And all the anger I had built up towards people who only love when it suits what they believe was gone. Because I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want people in my life like that anyways. I wanted loving people, who accepted me for me. Who loved me for who I truly am.
I wondered what I was being taught through all of this until it hit me one day. We as human beings have power, the power to hold a grudge and be unhappy, or to forgive and forget. The first is the easiest. But the latter is most rewarding. Because it frees our bodies of negative energy and allows us to grow to a place of peace. Where there are no resentments or vendettas. A place where only love can survive and thrive.
I would like to take this opportunity to ask forgiveness of anyone reading this blog that I have hurt or disappointed. And even if they never read this blog, I hope they can find room in their hearts to forgive me and be brought through growth to a more harmonious place.
I often think about the type of person I want to be remembered for when I die. I don’t want to be someone who was known for being at war with people, but rather one of love and someone who was truly able to forgive. It’s a power like no other…..
“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself”
~ Suzanne Somers
Jamie Leigh Francis
xo
As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I blamed “God” for most of all my problems when I was a child. I blamed my mother for not raising me the way I would have raised myself and I especially blamed my father for all the beatings I got when I was a kid. I even blamed the doctor’s that treated me and tried to help me as a kid for being so sick all the time. Then I found a power, the power of forgiveness.
Holding grudges and conflicts in our heart consumes a lot of energy and when you really stop and think about it, we are really only hurting ourselves by holding onto these resentments. I always walked around somewhat unhappy when I was a kid because I just couldn’t understand why I was blessed with such an imperfect life. I would often pray and ask God, what is he trying to prove? I got the answer later in life, and I’ll share that in a bit.
My mother was a smoker. She has been smoking since she was 8 years old. Her mother used to give her cigarette’s in reward for rolling hers. That’s great parenting! NOT! So it was something that I had to accept as I got older. A lot of people, including doctors and close friends would often question why I had a mother who smoked around me even though I had a lung disease.
During my late teens I gave my mom a really hard time about her smoking. I would often get on her case about the habit and it just seemed to make matters worse. We would end up in arguments that just led to more arguments. No solution was ever found and my mother still smokes today. But as I reached adulthood, I discovered something that changed me as a person, forgiveness. I held on to such negative feelings towards her for so many years that I just got tired of being upset and disappointed with her all the time. And I couldn’t very well go back in time and stop the addiction when it started. So, I forgave her. I stopped hounding her about smoking and I came to the conclusion that it was her choice to smoke, not mine and that she was never properly educated on how her smoking affected my CF. It set me free, because it was always a grudge I held towards her. Now don’t get me wrong, at times when she still smokes in the house today I get pretty upset and it does hurt me, but forgiveness releases my tension to the universe and I am brought to a pace where I accept the fact that she has an addiction.
Speaking of addictions, my father is an alcoholic. As I mentioned in previous blogs, I experienced some pretty intense beatings at the hand of my father and at times I questioned if he even was my father, because how could a Dad do something so violent and hurtful. But then again, I found something. Can you guess? Forgiveness.
I spent so much of my life being mad at him and that just used up so much of my energy that I so desperately needed to maintain my health. Through a few Al-anon meetings and a couple of self-help books, I discovered that my father and the disease were two separate things. Therefore I was able to conclude that though there was no excuse for what he did, he was sick. I am sick. And I often ask people to show compassion and understand to me and my illness; therefore I should show the same kindness to my father. I can honestly say that I hold no resentment towards him at all. That’s the power forgiveness gives you. Now I am not saying that I am willing to accept unacceptable behavior, but I have moved past the hurt to a place of peace and love. It was very hard letting go of all the hurt and anger, but the reward was awesome!
When I became a Jehovah’s Witness, I was overwhelmed by the support I received from them. They were a great bunch of people. But soon into studying the bible with them, I learned that if I was ever to turn away, or not practice what they believed anymore, I would be shunned and expelled from the congregation. I could never understand this because the God I truly could feel in my heart accepts everyone and does not shun people for their mistakes. So, it was really hard when I left because a lot of people, who “claimed” to love me unconditionally, overnight became my enemies. I was so angry! I couldn’t believe that I waisted 7 years of my precious life with people who couldn’t love me for who I truly was! Not to get all biblical, but then I remembered a scripture that I learned and again it set me free. “He who does not forgive, shall not receive forgiveness”
I forgave them. And all the anger I had built up towards people who only love when it suits what they believe was gone. Because I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want people in my life like that anyways. I wanted loving people, who accepted me for me. Who loved me for who I truly am.
I wondered what I was being taught through all of this until it hit me one day. We as human beings have power, the power to hold a grudge and be unhappy, or to forgive and forget. The first is the easiest. But the latter is most rewarding. Because it frees our bodies of negative energy and allows us to grow to a place of peace. Where there are no resentments or vendettas. A place where only love can survive and thrive.
I would like to take this opportunity to ask forgiveness of anyone reading this blog that I have hurt or disappointed. And even if they never read this blog, I hope they can find room in their hearts to forgive me and be brought through growth to a more harmonious place.
I often think about the type of person I want to be remembered for when I die. I don’t want to be someone who was known for being at war with people, but rather one of love and someone who was truly able to forgive. It’s a power like no other…..
“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself”
~ Suzanne Somers
Jamie Leigh Francis
xo
