Ever since I was in high school, I loved being in the Arts. I was heavily involved with Drama and loved theatre arts and Art classes. When I left high school, I learned the art of cooking. However shortly after I started working in restaurants, my doctor strongly suggested that I change careers because the propane and the humidity from being in a confined space was having an impact on my health. I loved to cook, still do, and I am told I am really good at it. It’s very much a passion of mine.
Growing up, since about the age of twelve, once a week I rearranged my room. The bed would be moved, shelves would be moved from the north wall to the one with window. All my little knick-knacks
would all find a temporary home until I decided it was time for another change. Then as I got older, I noticed I could not enter a room and imagine it being different, better, than what it already was. I started offering advice to people with hearing only but positive responses. Then I started decorating my own space after moving out of mom’s into my own apartment. My landlord at the time always commented on how great I could make a space look with the little amount of belongings I had at the time. Then I bought a house and created that into a sanctuary that I so loved living in.
Yet, something was missing. I knew I was good at it and had a great eye for taste, but I wanted more formal training. So I attended Sheffield Interior Design School. There I learned a lot of things I didn’t know and perfected some things I did. With this course under my belt, I knew that this is the field where I wanted to pursue a career. So that’s exactly what I am doing. I just started my business and it is going really well. Getting a lot of calls, leading to a lot of happy clients. But Saturday, I got a call that left me dead in my tracks. I was asked if I wanted to join the faculty of Sheffield Interior Design School! The pay was outstanding and the thought of it at first caused great excitement. But then I heard the voice of reason in my head.
My health right now is stable. But as I discussed in past blogs, for people with CF that could change overnight. Being a teacher and having to dedicate the next two years of my life to teaching something I truly would rather work at then teach would be a very big commitment for someone in my predicament. If I was post-transplant and feeling fabulous, then yes, maybe then I would consider it, but for now, I truly believe the best decision is to turn it down.
I’ve always believed in the saying; “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it”, meaning that if things in life are going really great, then don’t try and change anything. And to say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life would be the understatement of the century. I have a man who would only love to see me pursue my passion (if teaching was my passion) and supports everything I do. I have an amazing family behind me whom I am able to see often. I have a beautiful life here in this new place where I am living. Living next to the water has always been a dream of mine. And my business, though new, is showing promising potential. And I am able to work at what I love to do, and not teach it.
Now I know a lot of people are going to think I am crazy for turning this down. OH BOY! I can just hear the comments…especially telling me I would be compensated 100+ thousand a year. But honestly? None of that is important to me anymore. What’s truly most important to me now is not making lots of money. It’s being able to look in the mirror and being at peace with whom I see. It’s loving everyone to the best of my ability, even my enemies. It’s going for walks around the harbor with Perry and admiring a breath taking sunset. It’s being able to have a day off whenever I want it. I would not be able to have those things working full-time in NYC. Plus, my health right now HAS to have priority. And I truly know that if I moved there, it would not. I would be so far away from my real life and I feel like I would be in danger of losing myself again by diving into a new way of life.
I also believe to that wisdom is allowing me to make this decision. I am growing up! J My life is so beautiful right now, and I feel like maybe this opportunity is a test. How far am I willing to go to reach my goals and dreams? Am I willing to sacrifice my health? My family? And my relationships? I surely couldn’t expect Perry to move away from his family for two years and flying back and forth would just defeat the purpose. So I believe this is another time when contentment is playing a key for me. I am so happy with the way life is right now that I really truly do not want to change anything. Sure, we only live in a tiny apartment in a small town in Newfoundland, Canada. But I am sure of one thing. There is more contentment, love, respect and happiness here then there ever could be in a condo in New York.
Call me crazy, but I am going to stay where I am. I’m going to pour my heart into my business that is named after my dear nephew, Damon James. That’s where my heart is. Because it’s being out doing what I love to do most; create beautiful living spaces for beautiful people that causes me so much joy. And continue to focus on building a relationship with someone who loves me bigger than any sky scraper in NY. And reminds me every day I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this space and time – HIS ARMS!!
I’ve also learned to listen to my ‘gut’. More often than not it is usually right and something about the thought of going to live in New York freaks me out and gives me knots in my stomach. A fast paced way of life is not for me. And I am happy, oh so happy just where I am.
“This above all…
To thine own self be true.”
~ William Shakespeare
Jamie Leigh Fransis
xo
