A fresh attitude!It’s amazing how much attitude can influence everything in your life.
I remember growing up always feeling like there was something more to be had out of life. I always wondered what it was and I think I’m starting to figure it out. I’m realizing more and more every day that what happens to us is directly linked to our attitude towards any particular situation. If I had to have come to this conclusion sooner it would have saved me a lot of heart ache. Had I known that having a positive attitude would strongly affect my CF I would have had it sooner. My whole life I always resented the fact that I had a disease and I always had death in the back of my mind. But now I see nothing but life in my future! I think it’s because I’ve changed my attitude. I figure if I must die, should I not LIVE every day, every moment to the fullest? And not spend so much time worrying about what MIGHT happen and start focusing on the positive things that ARE happening for me in my life. And it’s all these positive things that are keeping me so positive which is causing even more positive things to happen to me!
I spent 8 months to be exact contemplating leaving my ex-wife to pursue an authentic life. One filled with genuine love and true feelings and honesty. But I held back because I was afraid of the unknown, afraid to be judged. If only somehow I could have had a chip put in my brain that would have told me that everything was going to be o.k. And that I was going to be TRULY happy, and HEALTHY! I was so focused on making everyone else happy and not wanting to stir up trouble while on the inside I was dying. But I did it. I left and if there is one thing I always tell people over and over again when they ask me, why, why did you do it? Is this;
I would rather die a thousand deaths at the hand of God, than to live one whole entire life WISHING I was dead, and live a life full of unhappiness. IT’S NOT WORTH IT!
With all the positive things going on in my life right now, I can’t help but feel sad for the person I used to be, and so glad I got out when I did. I am embracing myself and who I was born to be and it seems as though in doing that has released a whole lot of POSSITIVITY towards me and my life. I no longer have to constantly lie about everything. I spent so much time lying about who I truly was that I got accustomed to lie about everything, even the smallest things. Now, I can be so open and honest and it feels so good. I can sleep at night knowing that today, the day I just lived, was lived in the most respectful, honest way I know how. And in doing so, karma has handed me a gracious hand of positivity.
I did something I have always wanted to do because I have no fear, and that is to start my own business in Interior Design. I’ve been told so much over the past few years that I have a nack for it, and that I could make the ugliest spaces look beautiful. And I never listening cause inside I never felt worthy enough. Well, that attitude was flushed down the toilet and now my confidence has only blossomed because of the response I am getting already. Rather than be fearful I am running with it, ever ready to embrace anything life is about to hand me! I only started a couple weeks ago and I already have so much worked lined up. And it’s amazing working at something you settle for as opposed to something you truly love and have a passion for. There is no greater reward as a designer in walking into a space, creating a vision and then seeing a client cry because they are so pleased with how it turned out! Ugh! Goosebumps!!
LOVES IT!!!
I made another rash decision too. I moved to Perry’s hometown, instead of having him move in town with me. I believe a true, loving relationship is built on sacrifice. He was more than willing to move to town and actually had interviews lined up. However, he has a full clientele out here, and he also has two, darling little nieces. I know that I would do anything to be with my nephew Damon James in Winnipeg, and I couldn’t live with asking him to move away from those girls whom he would only see every so often when we would visit periodically. So, I moved. Now I live where I have always wanted to live. BY THE WATER! Literally right outside our house is a walking trail around the harbor here in Clarenville. All you can smell this time of year is the salt-water and oh how good that is for my lungs! But just being happy every day with how things are turning out in my life is such an adjustment. I used to dread ‘the next day’ because it was the same ol’ disappointing, dissatisfied, sad life. Now, I can’t wait to see what the next five minutes are going to bring!
And alllllllllll the time I spent worrying over who would still be standing next to me at the end of all this when the dust settled, really didn’t matter. Because the ones who are here and the ones that truly love me. And it really doesn’t matter who is standing next to as long as YOU are happy. Because happiness is contagious. So is love. And it seems as though ironically that I have even MORE genuine friendships now than I ever did, and it has to be because I am myself and people can either accept me for that or turn the other way. Their choice!
All I am saying is; don’t wait till tomorrow like I did to create a beautiful today!
I’m not Dr. Phil, but I do know what has worked for me, and I don’t like him anyway! He talks too much! LOL
I must go, I’m going to pick up my amazing boyfriend soon and head to his parents who live in a little town by the ocean and have an AMAZING evening with the man I am NOT afraid to love!
LIFE IS GOOD!!!
"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
- Martha Washington
Jamie Leigh Francis
xo
